Just finished writing Jordan's sponsored child a birthday card. I let Emmanuel know that while Jordan is in heaven, Kim and I will continue his sponsorship. What I had never noticed before was Emmanuel's birthdate - July 20th - Jordan's birthdate. I guess Jordan had been the one to write him a birthday card until now. In fact I remember Jordan writing last year about being sick and asking Emmanuel to agree with him for healing. What a great name – God with us!
A friend this week took the time to tell me of her experiences with Jordan. I think that perhaps that has been one of the best ways I have been loved through all of this. I don't want him forgotten but I don't have any recent experiences from which to draw...only those where others bring old ones to mind or times with Jordan I didn't know about. Memories are powerful, living things for me and I find myself refreshed after looking at pictures, or sitting in Jordan's room or watching family videos. Videos from last year are still too tender right now - too fresh. I haven't reread any of my blog posts, because the pain rushes back, and the hope. I do so miss anticipating that Jordan would see all that he hoped for here on earth. I love that he saw people he prayed for often be healed...he celebrated every time over even "little" victories.
I put up Jordan’s picture on my side desk at work and at times when I have felt overwhelmed or frustrated with the task, I find myself glancing at his smiling face. He would often ask me, in those times, “What would Jesus say?” So I ask. I so want to point people to Jesus….He is my Wonderful Counsellor.